A Series of Letters
by secret indentity
Summary: Draco and Harry are now in a relationship. Draco writes a series of letters to Harry. Each contains the worries, joys, and problems that Draco comes to face in thier relationship.
1. Prelude

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Draco Malfoy

**_Author note:_** **Before you read this** I want to say that my grammer is not perfect. Not because I don't know proper English, but because it's not supposed to be. These are letters written in moments of anger, confusion, passion, love, hate, and any other emotion I feel. The letter may not have a perfect flow, but they aren't supposed to. The letters don't always have a perfect flow because thoughts don't. Thoughts pop up from no where. Sometimes because you see things that remind you of something else and other times for no reason at all. If the letters are broken and piecey it's because they're meant to be.

These letters are based off of events in my life. So this fic is not a fairy tale. It's real life. You won't know what Harry is feeling because I don't and Draco doesn't. And unless 'Harry' finds this you will never know. However if I do find the answer to a question that I have written you will know too.

So don't ask for Harry's view. Don't ask if Harry will ever find the letters. I don't know the answer. If my 'Harry' finds them, then I'll know. Until then Harry remains a mystery to you, me, and Draco.

A Series of Letters

Have you ever been in a situation where you need to talk about what happened, but you don't know if you can tell anyone? And if you could you don't know who. I went through something like that recently. I had no one to turn to and the person that I normally would turn to in a situation like the one I was in was part of the promblem.

So I wrote. I wrote out my feelings. I wrote down everything that was running through my head Every thought that was sending me on the verge of insanity. Everytime something about him ran laps in my head I write it out. Every one was addressed to him and not one of them was actually sent anywhere, but into the fire. They were simply to help me cope.

I was able to work though my problems and remain with him because of my series of letters.


	2. September 7

September 9

Draco sat down at his desk and pulled out a piece of parchment, ink, and a quill. He had something to write. Something to let out. He had a lot to say. All because of one person.

_Harry,_

_I have never been this confused in my life. _

_There are too many thoughts, too many. _

_First off, why? Why did you do it, why did you kiss me. _

_What did it mean? _

_Will it happen again? _

_Did you want it to happen? _

_What does it mean? _

_What do I want it to mean? _

_Why did I kiss you back? _

_Do . . . do I like you? _

_NO! I don't want to think about that. _

_I don't want to know until I know what you feel. _

_But if I do like you and you do like me what's going to happen? _

_Will we date? _

_Will we be friends wih benefits? _

_Will nothing happen because of what we are? _

_If we date what will happen when we break up, if we break up?_

_Will is be a long term serious relationship, a short term fling? _

_Will you change me? Will you help me? _

_Will I love again because of you? _

_Do I love you now?_

_Argh. I don't know._

_We kissed, but you acted so normal afterward. _

_What if you think it never should have happened, Gods I do. _

_I Wouldn't have to be doing this. _

_I wouldn't have to worry about anything. _

_I wouldn't be so depended on what you thought or have to worry about wither or not you like me._

_Would I - . . . would I be worried about that if I didn't like you?_

_NO! I'm not thinking about that. I don't what to know._

_But if you like me, if you want to be with me, I don't think I regret it. I don't regret it at all._

_That definently means I like you doesn't it? _

_I think I have for a while. _

_I think I have for a really long while. _

_I just didn't want to know. _

_I still don't. I really don't. _

_It all depends on you. _

_On how you feel._

_I hate depending on other people. I hate needing other people. _

_I hate you because you matter. _

_But if I could chose anyone that would matter to me this much it would be you. _

_Maybe that's why you do. _

_I made you stop. I made you not matter that much. _

_After that night. _

_Do you remember the night? I left you there stranded. _

_I thought you'd hate me. I was so scared that you would never talk to me again. _

_It was the wierdest thing I have ever felt._

_I didn't want to sleep or to stay awake. I didn't want to do anything or to do nothing. _

_But most importantly I didn't want to hurt. _

_I always wanted to hurt, but not that night. _

_It wouldn't help. _

_For the first time the pain wouldn't help. _

_That was something I hadn't felt in years. _

_And ever since that night I haven't craved the pain. _

_I told you that you fixed, but never how. _

_That is how. You gave me something so emotionally painful that the physical pain wouldn't fix it._

_After that night I made you not matter and until that night when you kissed me it worked. _

_But here I am again needing you. _

_I hate you for it. _

_Expect that I don't._

_I want to hate you for making me need you, but I don't think I can._

_Will you hate me for needing you?_

_ Draco_

Draco put away the ink and quill before standing up with the letter in hand. Slowly Draco walked over to the fire place, gentlely folding the letter as he went. Once he reached his destination he knelt down. With the warmth of the fire beating against him, Draco took once last glance at the letter in his hand. The blonde took a deep breath, releasing the last of his anxieties. The letter burned quickly turning to ash as Draco wiped the last tear off his face.


End file.
